Aircraft jokes
What do you call a Flying Pilot?
He pee on the plane.
What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane?
A biplane.
What's the difference between MH370 and my dad?
Both disappeared, but one killed 239 people.
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy
Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
I heard that the Twin Towers have some plane DNA.
"Watch out, plane! Wait, really? I ordered pepperoni."
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
What's the problem with 9/11 jokes?
They are just two plane.
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”
“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
What did the plane say to the tower?
"Give me a kiss."
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
Bro, Kobe Bryant is singing with the basketball team in his helicopter, celebrating right now, I bet.
Oh wait, I forgot.
"Hey, look, that plane is getting bigge-"
Your forehead is so big you can land a jumbo jet on it.