Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.
I air.
HKY FM? Hmm.
You are in the airway, how funny!
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Bender.
My entire existence.
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You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.
Who's the bus driver?
You will never nose [know].
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
What do farts fly with?
Smellicopters!
How does a rapper fix stuff?
With a RAP-AIR!
How do you call a cop?
Through the phone.
(My puns are bad)
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
Gay air.
Why did Hitler kill himself? Because the air was gas.
You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.
