Air jokes

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

mncjndjckmdncvidfknfd

My entire existence.

You are in the airway, how funny!

HKY FM? Hmm.

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

What's the difference between Jordan and George Floyd? Jordan had air.

A tortoise was in a dry pool along with some geese. The tortoise said that they could carry him to a fresh pool. Then the geese flew through the air holding the tortoise. The tortoise was about to say something, but fell and died.

I air.

Bender.

What do birds use to check their grades?

Air-ies...

Love is in the air...

Wrong! Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Carbon Dioxide are in the air!

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.

First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."

You're the bus driver. The bus driver picks up twenty kids, drops two, picks up eighty. Drops seven, picks up a woman with green eyes, drops off a man with blue, kicks a kid in the face, and buried his mother.

Who's the bus driver?

You will never nose [know].