Air jokes

So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

How do you call a cow’s butt? A dairy-air.

What did the water say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved!

My Grandpa killed 30 Air Force pilots in WW2. He was a very bad mechanic.

What does the EPA issue when a person stinks up a room with their smelly farts?

Air quality alert code brown!

People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.

What’s the best air to breathe if you want to be rich? Millionaire.

What is the richest kind of air?

A millionaire.

Want to hear my pencil joke? Wait, I'm still writing it.

MY NAME IS JEFFFFFFFF!

Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.

Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.

What do you call a batter in a hot air balloon?

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.

Yeah, your legs.

What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?

Emos, some of them are still in the air.

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

These two guys were texting each other.

Guy 1: How are you?

Guy 2: I’m great. The weather is lovely here. Guy 2: *sends picture of a flying spring*

Guy 1: ???

Guy 2: Springs in the air. :)

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

I am armed with an automatic 4-OXD 22. caliber machine gun. HANDS IN THE AIR!