Air jokes
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"
The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.
After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby out the window?
He was airing his blanket.
You know what to do with this?
Get it to the same amount of dislikes and likes!
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
What type of people have the world record for most stories read in the shortest amount of time?
Emos, some of them are still in the air.
What happens to Mary Poppins when the wind dies down?
*Mary Poppins seen falling in background*
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
Penis.
Why do hospitals have air conditioning?
To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
HKY FM? Hmm.
What do you call a skunk falling from the sky?
A stink bomb!
What kind of air does Ariana breathe?
Helium?
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Why did Ten die?
It was between 9/11.
Woman can't drive.