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Air jokes

Why were the tenants of the Twin Towers sad?

They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they got PLANE.

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

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    • You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!

    "Yah, I do!"

    Oh yeah? What is it?

    "My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"

    That’s breathing, Jim.

    "NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"

    If your best friend tells you that he's gay for you, what do you do? Tell him, "Oh, nice gay ass."

    You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

    The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.

    The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.

    The French salute starts with your hands in the air.

    The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.

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    • It was dinner in the plane, and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.

    "What are my choices?" the passenger said.

    "Yes or no," the flight attendant replied.