Air jokes
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
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Gay air.
My friend: Yo stupid.
Me: Is that right, and what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?
My friend: *rolls eyes and says whatever.*
Me: Keep on rolling them, you might find your brain in there.
My friend: "Yo, stupid."
Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"
My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."
Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
My entire existence.
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"
"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.
Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
A police officer pulls a man over. "Hands in the air!"
The man said, "Okay."
Why do women fart when they pee? To blow dry.
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Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
Me: I fucked your mom.
Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.