Agriculture jokes
Why can you never find a virgin cow on a field with no bulls for miles? Just ask the redneck farmer.
Little Johnny comes down for breakfast because he lives on a farm, and his mother asks if he has done his chores or not.
"Not yet," says little Johnny, so he goes to feed the chickens, cows, and pigs. He ends up kicking the chickens, cows, and pigs and goes inside and asks why he got a dry bowl of cereal. His mother responds with, "I saw you kick the chickens, so no eggs for a week. I also saw you kick the pigs, so no bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cows, so no milk for a week either."
Little Johnny's father comes downstairs and kicks the cats. Little Johnny looks at his mother and says, "You want to tell him, or should I?"
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
What do cows eat for breakfast?? Steer cereal.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
A farmer has 3 fat ugly cows. One is named Xia. The next is named Chiang. What's the third?
Yu.
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?
Why was there a, ummmmm, a cow?
.......... To moo.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
How do cows like to play games? Moobile (Mobile).
What is a meatball without spaghetti? A cow.
You guys are cow-medians!
So funny!