Beans
What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.
The flower made a phone call and became cauliflower.
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
What's the hardest part when making skimmed milk?
Throwing the cow across the lake.
Did you hear about the tomato and the lettuce race?
Well, the lettuce was ahead, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean grower?
De-calf!
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow-moving business.
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
American: How do you use a PC?
Amish: We use a potato.
