What is the difference between an orange and an orphan?
The orphan always gets picked... Oh wait, I meant an orange always gets picked.
What do orphans and apples not have in common? Apples get picked.
Old Mother Riley, had a fat cow.
She milked it and milked it but didn't know how, she pulled his tail, pulled his tits. Old Mother Riley was covered in sh!t.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Need for seed.
What what's the cloud private place to go? Among us, cows.
Q: What do you get from a two-legged cow? A: Lean beef.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
Why couldn't the cowboy go to the rodeo?
He forgot his calves!
The only time that cows will make noise is when they are in the moooo-d.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
Why did the farmer's wife chase the chickens out of the yard?
'Cause they were using fowl language!
What does the Cow say to the spy?
"Are you udder cover?"
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
It looks like a runner bean, only smaller.
From the makers of Mangeone...
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
