Agriculture jokes
She said you can twerk, so I put her in a tractor and put her to work. She got mad at me and said, "There's no good men," but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
How do you f**k a sheep?
Put your d**k in it and face it off the cliff edge. It'll keep going backwards as you push forwards.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Why do orphans pick apples? Because that's the only thing they can pick.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
Apples get picked.
I had a calf for a while. The milk was bad until we bought a heifer.
Roses are red,
my life is a disaster,
the children are fast,
but the combine is F A S T E R!
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow who?
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!