Again jokes

Face

  • Little William punched Little Johnny in the face. Then Little Johnny says, "If you do that again, I'm gonna turn your fucking nuts into coconut juice."

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  • Orange

  • The annoying orange told the annoying, insecure, beta bitch orange that he wants to be the most annoying thing on Earth again.

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  • Hypocrisy

  • Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

    Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

    Some time later me fighting with my mom:

    Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

    Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

    Lesson?

    So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

    Dentist

  • "I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

    He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

    Superman

  • A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"

    He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.

    The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."

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  • Accident

  • So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).

    A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”

    My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?

    Orphan

  • Why does a kid never come home after a fight with their parents? Because they never found the key to the house again.

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  • Family

  • Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

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  • Blonde

  • A blonde drops off her dress to the dry cleaners.

    “Come again!” says the woman behind the desk.

    “No, it’s curry this time.”

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  • Man

  • One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.

    Five years later, he came back and left again.

    Football

  • Doctor, what is wrong with me?

    You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.

    Flag

  • Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.

    *Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...

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