Aed jokes
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
I tried a pun about water, but people "sea" right through it, and when people complain, they are usually just being a beach.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
What’s one thing that a gay person is scared of?
A gay guy that’s straight!
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?
"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."
Asian Grading scale: A- Average.
B- Half Average.
C- Stupid idiot!
D- FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN DO CALCULUS!
F- FORGOTTEN FAILURE! CAN'T EVEN GET A JOB AT MCDONALDS!
What happens when you have a kid with Tourette's and a hair trigger?
The Las Vegas shooting.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
What does a Jamaican guy say to an Asian?
Poke me, mon.
What do you get if you talk to a Down syndrome person face to face at close distance?
Soaked...
When I went to the doctor, he pulled his wife in and said, "What do you see?"
I replied, "A fat bitch." He said, "Ok, your eyesight is perfect."
Why did the Indian cross the road?
Because he opened a corner shop on the other side.
What happens when you mess with a farmer? You get the whole ranch.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
Jesus is a rock music fan.
Because he likes Nine Inch Nails.
Yo Mama so fat that when she took a photo of herself to get it printed out, it took 15 years to finish!
What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.