Aed jokes

What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

I’m a clown...

And everyone knows.

Last time Kenny ate a vegetable, he got banned from his mom's nursing home.

What is Trump's favorite snack?

Cheetos.

(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)

Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover his butt-quack.

Three Nazis walk into a bar.

Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?

Because its head is so far away from its body.

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Which president has never gone to jail?

Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.

What’s the difference between a pimple and a Priest?

You see, a pimple wouldn’t normally come on a kid until he’s 13 years old.

Uranus is a gas giant.

Two Asians walked into a strip club and they went to a cashier. They put in their names: her name was He Gay and his name was Shi A Ho.

I like porn a lot. I was wondering if you guys can talk to me.

If Trump colored his hair green and wore an orange shirt and pants, I will call him a carrot.

Once upon a time... Chuck Norris stepped on a Lego. R.I.P. the Lego piece.

I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!