Aed jokes
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
I'm a nonbinary trash can.
Why did Brandon's mum chase him with a knife? Because he didn't let her cum first!
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
People at my school have started to wear Logan Paul merch. I try to give them a high five, but they always leave me hanging.
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣
What kind of bull doesn’t have horns?
A bullfrog!
Why can't orphans ever get a car? Because they don't have a birth certificate.
What's the difference between a boring teacher and a boring book?
You can shut the book up.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."