Aed jokes
My dad told me a story today. His mom, my grandma, said if a bird gets in your house, someone will die.
That day, a hummingbird got in his UPS truck, and that’s the day he found out that my grandma had cancer. 😭😭😭😭😭 6 weeks later, she died. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
A: Because she's a woman.
Note to all.
My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!
A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."
And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
I went to a 90 minute prostitute once. She was a whore and a half, I tell ya!
Jack and Jill went up my ass to eat a big dildo, but Jack died cause he got hit by a brown thing.
JFK
Half is definitely a bottom.
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
What's an orphan's favorite toy?
A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.
Yo mama's such a milf, she deserves a tongue punch in the fart box.
What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!
Today a girl asked me how big my dick is, so I asked how big her pussy is, and she said, "Come over to my house and find out!"
What do 9/11 and COVID-19 have in common?
I couldn't give a fuck about either.