Aed jokes
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.
The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.
The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.
LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
If you bully a kid, bully an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.
What do you call a war dodo named Bob in WW2 and he came from Mars?
Bruno Mars.
When a kid says, "I'm a pedophile," it means that he has a crush on one of his classmates.
When an adult says it, he is accused as a rapper.
What is the most useless part of a vagina?
The woman.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
You. You're a joke.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
Did Jesus die a virgin?
No... He got nailed! 😅
Forehead is so big that you wear a bed sheet for a bandana.
A wife and husband go to a barn. The husband picks up a goat and says, “Look at this pig I have to sleep with every night.”
The wife says, “Honey, that’s a goat.”
The husband replies with, “I was talking to the goat.”
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.