Aed jokes
How do you fix a broken gorilla?
With a monkey wrench.
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
I have a joke about lazy people!
Actually... forget it... it won't work.
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
What do you call a spaceman’s willy?
A Shuttlecock!
Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."
Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?
It was too cold because they did not have a home.
If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).
What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?
A happy family.
My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.
What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?
OH it's a bitch.
I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.
Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
(People will then say "r")
Arrr, you think it be "r" but really it's the "C" that they love.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
You are being investigated for downloading illegal copyrighted material, and your internet will be cut off.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day.
It was a complete waste of money.
He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."
Why can’t orphans have a house pet?
Because its parents have it to itself.