Aed jokes
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
What is the difference between an orphan and a snake?
A snake has a home to go to underground.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
How do you make a little girl cry for a second time?
By wiping her blood off your dick with her teddy bear.
I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.
I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.
Why couldn't an eagle do a barrel roll? It's oblivious, it's il-eagle.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
Why can't an orphan have milk?
His dad didn't come back with the milk.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.
Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.
Why did the man cut down the tree? Because it was there. 👨🪚🌲
Why didn't the man cut down the tree? Because it wasn't there. 😕🪚!?️
Why did the tree cut down the man? Because it was a bad tree. 🌲🪚😮