Aed jokes
Why did the rock not risk going to the other side of the road?
It's a damn rock, mate. It's not gonna walk!
Do you know why the cake doesn't ever fight anyone?
He says, "Take a peace of that!" while entering a fight.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
What does a Trump supporter use to load his/her AR-15?
A MAGAzine.
I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.
Learn math the easiest way from Pendu.
Multiplying any number by 0 is 0 itself.
Hint: Multiplying any number by Pendu's G/A in 2022 is 0 itself.
The answer is 0.
I made a website for orphans. It doesn’t have a home page.
What’s the difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body? I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.
What is the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
22. Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
24. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
31. My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
I asked a kid where their parents were...
Lol
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
What's black and grey and red all over?
A dead r******.
Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.