Aed jokes
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
I asked my dad what his previous job was. He said: "I was a post until I met your mother."
Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?
A. "Till I Collapse."
What's the difference between Vin Diesel and an orphan?
Vin Diesel actually has family.
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.
Why do orphans suck at homework?
Because they don’t have a home.
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
What do you call a house that isn't a house?
Not a house.
Yo momma so fat, I asked her to save me a seat, so she sat down and she saved 10, and one by one the legs started popping off.
Yo mama so fat, when she got ran over, the van did a 360 flip to Mars!
Q: Why was the pilot sad?
A: 'Cause he was bad at playing Jenga. 💀
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
One day an orphan went to jail, and a big dude went behind him and said, "I want you." The orphan said, "Finally!"
Why is an orphan into worshiping Satan?
'Cause they get to call someone "master" and be freaky.
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: I don't know why.
Man: Because they have a family plan.
Kid: Well, I need to get another phone service now.
What's another nickname for a flat emo?
A copping boars.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
How do astronauts have a party?
They planet.