Aed jokes

What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?

I don’t turn on a light switch.

What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?

A fizzician.

One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.

To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.

Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.

Why were the baker's hands brown?

Because he was kneading a poop.

Yo mama is so ugly, when I took a picture of her, my phone screen cracked.

Jump in the Cadillac. (Girl, let's put some miles on it.) Anything you want. (Just to put a smile on it.) You deserve it, baby, you deserve it all, And I'm gonna give it to you. Gold jewelry shining so bright, Strawberry champagne on ice, Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like. Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like.

-Tommyinnit

"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"

"Ok!"

"Are you ok, man?"

"Yeah, I’m fine."

"Dude, pull your pants back up!"

One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost? He said, "Oh my God, it's me dead parrot!"

One day, I was sitting on my couch watching YouTube when I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and to my surprise, it was my dad. I haven't seen him in 16 years, so I let him in. I noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand, and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge.

Then he walked towards me and said, "Oh no! I forgot the cereal!" Then he walked out the door and drove away. I never saw him again.

What's at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck.

For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.

That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!

When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!

Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?

What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?

The pig smells better.

Your hairline is in a different area code.

I got a call from NASA. They’ve reached your hairline.

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

Me: I hit an orphan!

Mom: OMG WHY?

Me: Not like they can tell their parents-

"I'm a little piss baby!" -Dream