Aed jokes
How do you know that a woman is about to say something smart?
She starts the sentence with ‘a man once said.’
Did anyone around here lose a roll of twenty-dollar bills wrapped with a rubber band? Because we found the rubber band.
Why can’t Homer Simpson bring his family into Moe’s Tavern?
Because there’s a bartender in there.
What's the difference between a broken shovel and a young child?
The shovel doesn't cry when you swing it into a wall repeatedly.
An innocent boy is reading through his father’s phone, looking at the messages and trying to learn things about his family from them. He saw a message asking for something which seemed strange, but ultimately the boy decided to surprise his father with what it said.
“Timmy, why are there thirty-five cats in the living room?” shouted the father.
“I was only supplying what you wanted from Mother!” replied the boy.
There’s a noticeable difference between using polish to remove grease and using Polish to remove Greece.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
Peter Griffin walks into a bar.
I think I may have forgotten the rest of the joke.
What is a woman's name with one leg?
Eileen.
Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.
Your mum is like a Golden Knight. She will still attack my tower with troops in the way, like Jude Porter.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
Q. If a pedophile, necrophile, and a guy who is into incest are all sitting in a car, who's driving?
A. A police officer.
What is a disabled man called?
"Woman." Haha.
Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.
I'm a proud racist. I love kart racing, street racing. Any kind will do.
Conservatives when they hear about “liberal arts:” 👊😡
Liberals when they find out about forest conservation: 😩👐
Progressives when they see a reaction video: 🤬
Reactionaries when a Progressive ad comes on (Flo is annoying): 😱
Anticoms realizing they are a part of a “community:” *seizure*
Anticaps when they have to Capitalize Their Words: 😤
Anti-monarchists when they pass a Burger King: 🫨
Antisocs when they are told to “socialize:” 🫠
Corporatists when they see a corpse: 🤤
Antifash when they spot a fashion show: 🤮
Classical liberals when the TV shows Family Feud: 😑🔫
Extremists when they are told to shoot “dead center” (they have bad aim): 😠🖕
Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.