Aed jokes
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
If you are homeless, get a home.
Yo hairline is so bad it looks like a fat person's stomach.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
I met a homeless guy named Rich.
He wasn't.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came.
I fell into a water bed with super soil. Next thing I'm in a flower bed.
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
What do you call a disabled person who deals drugs?
A wheel dealer.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
My aim is cursed; one of my Angry Birds hit a field.
What's a cannibal's favorite snack?
Men toes! 😂🤣
Your hairline is so bad man, I gave your doctor a breathalyzer.
Ernie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Ernie "how did you sleep?" Ernie replied with "I slept amazing! I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life."
Burt replied with "Good to hear, I slept amazing too. I had a dream that I was in heaven surrounded by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Next time you see a Brit, go up to them and say:
"Imagine losing a 'Tea Party in Boston.'"