Aed jokes

Me: I finished a book with 100 pages.

Someone else: How was it?

Me: It's a long story.

So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.

The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."

My father said I'm too reliant on technology.

I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

What do you call a dog wearing a beret?

Smeargle!

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?

A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.

Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?

A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.

I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.

Once, there was a brother and a sister that shared a YouTube channel. He named it "Penis Dick Marathon."

What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

A sad guy called "nun" is crying next to the grave of his best friend called "month". "Month" got killed by a gay guy, and after that, "nun" got homophobic.

While "nun" is sitting next to "month"'s grave, he heard a guy ask his friend: 《Do You Wanna Play A Game On?》 "Nun" got angry and he asked that guy: 《What did you just say to your friend?》 The guy answers: 《A game on, why?》

"Nun" kills the two guys.

🤔

When you have a bladder infection,

You're in trouble. 😜

A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.

A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.

What did Santa say when he saw a pretty girl?

HO, HO, HO!

What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife?

A heartless killer.

So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?