Aed jokes
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
A friend warned me that if I voted for Goldwater in 1964, we'd end up bombing North Viet Nam.
Well, I voted for him anyway, and sure enough, we ended up bombing North Viet Nam.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.
The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."
The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."
I've never been to Bradford before until today. While driving through the city center with my dad I asked, "Would you set up a business here?", to which he responded "No".
So I asked "Why not, you'd make us rich!", He gave me a confused face and asked, "How so?".
So I said, "Because sales would be fucking booming!"
I know, it's an awful joke.
Friend: What fly's and cry's?
You: A cloud.
Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.
I saw this really old guy with the Hitler stache, so I decided to start beating him up.
It was very weird when a camera crew came out with Harrison Ford and started yelling at me.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
It isn't hard.
Wow, Heaven's a lot hotter than I thought it'd be.
What does a pillow say when you live for a week? "Don't forget me!"
There are two types of faces:
The handsome one, but the wallet is ugly.
Then there is this personal face full of bumps, but even they lack a wallet.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
Why is James ugly? Cuz he do be a nerd with braces.
What does a priest and time have in common? They're both predators.
What do you call a shitty movie? One that fucking sucks and shits.
What does a rain cloud wear under her dress?
Thunderwear.
Are you a waterfall?
'Cause I'm falling for you.
You were born on a road. That's where most accidents happen.