Aed jokes
What’s a Muslim’s favorite car?
A Citroën C4.
A prostitute walks in the bar, and she goes up to the bartender and says, "I just made $100 and 5¢ sucking dick." The bartender says, "Who gave you the 5¢?" The prostitute says, "They all did!"
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
I'm going to open a wellness center for ASD kids to be able to express themselves through music and painting. I will call it Artism!
What is a tornado's favorite game?
Twister!
We are going to a country called Bangkok. When we are there, we will Bangkok.
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.
So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.
Why did the orphan call Mr. Smith "daddy"? Because he put her in the vices and taught her a lesson about virginity.
Yesterday we lost a quarter of our roof in the storm, oof.
Dad: What's the difference between an ELEPHANT and a POSTBOX?
Son: I don't know.
Dad: I'd better not trust you with my post then.
I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.
It was soda-pressing.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
What is yellow and can’t swim? A school, but full of drowning kids! 🤣🤣🤣
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
Two men were on a hike through a forest when one of the hikers got bit on his ass by a snake.
The other hiker ran to the village 2 miles away and explained to a doctor there what had happened. The doctor told him to cut a cross with a knife where he had been bitten and suck out the venom, so he ran back to the first hiker who asked him, "Have you got the cure?"
Hiker number two just said, "Nah mate, you're dead."
What's a snake's favorite subject?
Well, there are two: hisss-tory, but some prefer maths; those weirdos are adders.
Why did Billy kill himself with a TV remote?
He wasn't even REMOTELY close to being happy.
What is a reverse exorcism? It is when the Devil tries to pull a priest out of a child.