Aed jokes
Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.
I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
What happened to the police that crossed the road?
They solved a murder involving the nut case.
What's one thing you should never ask a suicidal person? "Are you okay?" because the next day they'll either be dead or have a lot more cuts than they started with.
To those who are dead now, was it fun?
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
This website is a joke.
What do you call an autistic kid with a glock?
Special forces.
Btw, I'm 13.
Friend: Hey, let me give you a little riddle. There's a table [for] four people who are supposed to sit [at]. There is you, me, Will, Mary. In which order will they sit?
Other friend: Uhm, you, me, Mary, and Will?
Friend 1: Nope, guess again!
Other friend: Okay, what about "Will you marry me?" Oh, wait...
Friend 1: Of course!!!! :D
Why can't we see a camel?
Because it's camelflauged!
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
I have a penis, and sometimes I bite it.
JFK's wife trying to grab his head be like "him in heaven." Why did I marrei her? Welp, time for a devorsin'.
What does a Russian do for entertainment?
A nuclear world fair.
What's long, hard, and slimy?
A bar of soap.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
What did Helen Keller say when she jumped off a bridge? "(sign language)"
What is a cow?
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL