Aed jokes
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
Unfortunately, NASCAR has been canceled.
The woke people heard that it was a human traffic ring.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
Today I'm attaching a light to the ceiling, but I'm afraid I'll probably screw it up.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon....I'll let you know.
How do flat-earthers travel?
On a plane.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.