Aed jokes
How much pussy does a priest get? None.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
What's the difference between you and a fridge? The fridge doesn't moan when I put my meat in.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
What do you call a person who died in war?
Little Johnny.
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.
A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.
Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.
"You're pretty, let me take you on a date!" Sike, I lied. You're ugly and fried. What you talking about?
A condom!
If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!
There was once a small earthquake, but when I got outside, I realized my brother was still stuck inside. When I told my mom, she just said, "It doesn't matter, you're my favorite anyway!"
Q: What do you call a cow stuck on a barb wire fence?
A: Udderly destroyed.
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
What does a baby and a hand grenade have in common?
They both make noise when you throw them.