Aed jokes
What has legs but can't walk?
Don't know? A paralyzed person ;))
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because she was crummy.
What did the toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed.
What has 1 head, 1 foot, and 4 legs? A bed.
The teacher asked the class what sound does a cow make? "Mooo," said Sally. "Good job," said the teacher. "What sound does a sheep make?" "Baa," said Jack. "Good, now what sound does a pig make?" Little Johnny raised his hand really high in the sky. The teacher called on him. He said, "The pig says, 'Get on the ground and put your hands on your head, you black motherfucker.'"
I just thought of the best invention ever: a vape dildo.
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
What does a Hufflepuff wolf say? “I will huffle and puff, and blow your house down!”
That is related to Harry Potter 🧙🏼♂️.
What will Sarah Thompson (Ninja Steel Pink) do if she meets the ToQgers (Train Super Sentai)?
They will TRAIN together.
Why is it so hard to tame a dog?
Because it's unTRAINable!
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
Why is Santa always a b*tch, calling people names like, "Hoe, hoe, hoe?"
Why were the Indians telling the others to chop off their noses when they got close to 12 inches?
Because then it would be a foot. LOL! I may have peed myself.
The dick said to the ass, "this place is a shit hole."
The ass replied, "Yes, but you still keep coming."
What's yellow and can't swim?
A dead goldfish.
Life is like a penis.
Women make it hard.
Yo hairline be looking like a chicken nugget, headass.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
What's the difference between an orphan and a slice of pizza?
Nothing, I eat both of them.
Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?
You: What?
Me: She let it go, let it go!
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.