What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
So, a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says, “Is there a problem, boyoh?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!” The man replies, “I’m a leprechaun.”
“Really?” says the man.
“That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper.”
“Anything I want?! Three of them?” replies the man.
“Anything in your wildest dreams, boyoh, but you have to let me finish.”
The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts it in. Thrusting back and forth, he asks for the man’s first wish.
“I want a giant yacht!”
“Aye,” says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now.”
“For my second wish, I want a billion dollars,” the man says, beginning to sweat.
“Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you,” the leprechaun replies.
“Okay,” the man groans in pain. “For my final wish, I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women.”
“You betcha, boyoh,” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW,” as he lets out a moan of pleasure.
The man, exhausted and sore, says, “That was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”
Porn.
My parents came back from their vacation in Florida, and all I got is this lousy nursemaid from Miami named mammie.
What do you call a night guard at the glory hole inside a adult bookstore?
Guardian of the confessional booth.
Brojobs are like air. It's not important until you don't have any.
What is italian sausage?
The dick of a gay italian.
Why does the Catholic Church have a glory hole inside the confessional booth?
So a priest can give an anonymous blowjob to another bisexual man, or a gay man, or a heterosexual man that has a big dick after the priest hears their confession.
How does a gay man trick a heterosexual man that is homophobic into giving him a brojob?
The gay man puts mustard on his dick and then puts his dick inside a glory hole.
Why can a gay man give a better brojob to a heterosexual man than another heterosexual man?
Experience.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period?
"I will be back next month."
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
How can you tell if a heterosexual man has been using a computer?
There is sperm on the screen.
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
