Adult jokes
What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.
Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.
Why do vegetarians give anonymous blowjobs at the glory hole at an adult book store? Because they don't want anybody to find out that they like meat.
A cocksucker is still a cocksucker if a cocksucker only sucks for moral, religious, or health reasons, and a vegetarian who doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons can still be a cocksucker, so how can a cocksucker be a vegetarian for moral, religious, or health reasons?
What is the difference between a feminist and a vegetarian? A vegetarian doesn't eat meat for moral, religious, or health reasons. However, a feminist doesn't act like a bitch for moral, religious, or health reasons.
What are the big mouths of feminists good for? Portable urinal for men.
What is the difference between climate change and the greenhouse effect, once a philosopher, twice a sodomite?
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Why did the Democrats act like an asshole when Rush Limbaugh was alive?
Because they fear him.
My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:
Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.
Why do feminists believe that they can act like a bitch towards men if they want to? Because they were born without a penis.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck dick.
Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car <3
I was talking to my friend, and he said, "I lost my virginity to a girl, and then she stopped coming to school." And I said, "Probably because she was fired."
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
Why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get run over and poop, and he died for 30 years until he was sent to Joe for getting run over, and he got killed by something, and then he died, and then he got it by you poop.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged!
Get off of here, kids!
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.