New Adult Jokes - Page 9 - Worst Jokes Ever

What did cinderella do when she got to the ball she gaged

get off of here kids

there was once a jenie with a 10 foot weenie and he showed it to the neighbores next door they thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake now its only 6.4ft

What do gay people and mice have in common?

They both hate pussy cats!

what do you get when the queen fart a noble gas... what do you get when a dino farts a blast from the past.. why are ninja farts so dangerous they are silent but deadly L O L S

What part in the body does an adult not need but actually needs to live?

A KIDNey

It was pornography class, and there was a break.

Two adults were "having a good time" till the teacher says..

Teacher: Hey! SAY ALL THE NUMBERS TO 10,000 NOW!

Adult 1: How about I say my abc's?

Teacher: Go ahead, i guess....

Adult 1: A B C E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Teacher: Wheres the D?

Adult 2: Inside me...

what does B**** mean son asked father father said it mean your handsome son said ok your a B**** father of course not im not a B****

Jim's car is swerving all over the road, so a cop pulls him over. "Step out of the car," says the cop. "I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test." "I can't," Jim responds. "You see, I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack." "Alright," says the cop, "then you're going to have to take a blood test." "Can't do that either," Jim responds. "I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death." "Ok," the cop answers, "then I will need a urine sample." "Sorry," says Jim, "I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low." "Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me." "Can't do that either," responds Jim. "Why not?" demanded the exasperated cop. "Well, because I'm drunk!"

if someone calls you dirty minded just say

You are dirty minded as well if you understand what im saying

They say making and having friends comes with some benefits, I guess You could say I have friends with benefits

kid: aye mum imma do somthing dad could never do mum: and that is? *kid walks out* *kid comes back in with milk* mum:imma beat ya ass

A man was asked by his 21 years old daughter, " Dad how do you give a blowjob to a man that has a big "dick"? her father replied " honey, you should have watch me last night - it was inside my mouth, does it cycle now?"

What do you get when you cross a clergyman and a politician?

A panhandler.

What does BLM stand for?

Bisexual Lives Matter.

What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady

Answer: you can unscrew a lightbulb but you can’t unscrew a lady

So a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says “is there a problem boyoh?”. “I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!”. The man reply’s “I’m a leprechaun”. “Really?” says the man. “That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper”. “Anything I want?! 3 of them?” reply’s the man. “Anything in your wildest dreams boyoh, but you have to let me finish”. The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts in in, thrusting back and forth he asks for the man’s first wish. “I want a giant yacht” “Aye”, says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now”. “For my second wish I want a billion dollars” the man says, beginning to sweat. “Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you” the leprechaun reply’s. “Okay”, the man groans in pain. “For my final wish I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women”. “You betcha boyoh” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW” as he lets out a moan of pleasure. The man exhausted and sore says “that was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”

The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”.