Abuse jokes
Why can you hit orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
What's red and got makeup all over?
A Bill Cosby victim.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
Why was the egg runny? Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
If you hit a child, that's child abuse.
If you hit a family member, that's abuse.
If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.
If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
Yo mama so short that when she tried to sniff meth, she couldn’t get high.
What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?
I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
I found Jeffrey Epstein’s diary the other day.
The last entry was about 12 years old.
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's the advantage of being a grade A paedophile? You know it's not period blood.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
So I made a simple cancer joke on Roblox with my friend, and then both her dumb-ass friends were like, "OMG WHY WOULD U SAY DAT? YOUR HORRIBLE!!" That pissed me off. Like damn woman, it's not like I said, "IF PEOPLE IN YOUR FAMILY DIED FROM CANCER THAT MEANS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE ALL DUMB-ASSES." If anything they are actually dumb asses but hey. Also they can't talk. They don't know that I'm abused everyday at home and pressured to get good grades or else I'd get my head bashed against a wall till there is blood. So if they are reading this, SUCK MY ASS BITCH.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
I molested a child today, and it felt quite lovely on my penis! 👍
Did you hear about Johnny Depp's shelter for abused women? It's going as well as Michael Jackson's children's hospital!