Ability jokes
What is one thing that a physicality handicapped gay man can do better than a heterosexual female or a bisexual female that are not born physicality handicapped? Know how to perform fellatio on a man that has a very long and thick and very large dick.
What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
What do you call a man who can fly? A flying man.
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Why can’t blind people read this?
They can’t see.
That moment when the disabled kid has to take the Pacer test.
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
Stephanie has a magic.
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
What can fly?
Bird.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.