What can a physically handicapped ♿ gay man 👬 do on his own very well 👏 without being taught how to do?
Perform fellatio on gay men.
Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!
What do you call a woman with magical abilities and an android? Wanda Maximoff and Vision! Or.... Scarlet Witch and Vision! This joke was added to celebrate and honour Marvel Studios' new series: WandaVision!
People at school thought I had special powers. It was something called "Constant supervision."
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
What is the difference between a human and a tree?
A tree cannot walk, and a human can walk.
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.