Ability jokes
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
What can fly?
Bird.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's a woman? No, seriously, why can't she drive? Because she's dead.
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
There are three types of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have? Four fingers and a Thu'um.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Chuck Norris can make Minute Maid lemonade in 5 seconds.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
How did Sally die?
She got shot.
How? She could not run away.