Worst Jokes Ever
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.
If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?
Yo mama so fat that she was the float in the Thanksgiving Day Parade with Kermit the Frog!
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.
Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?
In case of ill rhymes!
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said there is no God. In 2018, God said there is no Steve Hawking.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one!
What does a bridge and a fat chick have in common They both get laid by Mexicans
I taped a picture of Bill Cosby to my gun. Now it’s an assault rifle.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
Hey, I just want to give a round of applause to Shooter McFly, single-handedly keeping the jokes section alive. Unappreciated, well, Shooter, one person here appreciates you, at least.
Have you been to that paraplegic strip club? It's crawling with pussy!
How do you get a white girl to suck your dick?
Put ranch dressing on it.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
Why did Ten need a therapist? He was in between 9/11.