Worst Jokes Ever
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
If trees could kill you, they wood.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple, but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."