Worst Jokes Ever
What’s something you can say at the funeral but also in bed?
"Damn, that's really stiff!"
What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow?
You can't milk a cow for over 10 years.
Why is the German blind?
Because he's a "not see."
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Why did the rapper bring a suitcase to the studio?
Because he was packing his rhyme books!
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had FLOW-ZEN.
What's a rapper's favorite insect?
Rhy-mosquito.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
Why did the rapper get lost in the music?
Because he couldn't find the beat.
What's a rapper's favorite type of fruit?
RHY-MANGO!
How does a rapper start his day?
With a MIC check!
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get his degree in FLOW-NOMICS.
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
Did you know Disney is making a movie for suicidal people?
They're calling it Finding Emo.
Sorry to hear you feel like poo!
You like kissing boys, don't you?
Today, I operated on a little girl. She needed O-negative blood. We didn’t have any, but her twin sister has O-negative blood. I explained to her that it was a matter of life and death. She sat quietly for a moment, and then said goodbye to her parents. I didn’t think anything of it until after we took her blood and she asked, “So when will I die?” She thought she was going to give her life for her sister. Thankfully they both died.
My wife hates that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and went right.