Hey, guys! Just a quick reminder to spread kindness today and treat others how you want to be treated!
Rate your day on a scale of 1-10 in the comments below. Mine was about a 7. Also, can you guys please comment [on] what you guys want me to cover in these little messages? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you guys like that I'm doing this kind of stuff or not.
When the feminists find out that it's humanity, not huwomanity.
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.
Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.
Sans: What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Sans: ha ha ha ha!!
Your hairline is so far back that even Hitler wouldn't shoot it.
What is the difference between a gay person and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t start moaning and groaning when you try to put the meat in.
Yo mama so ugly, when she was born, the doctor tried to put her back in.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
Yo mama so dumb, she failed the survey.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Yo mama so gay that she made left and right turn straight.
Three boys are in the 4th grade; one is black, one is white, and the other is Hispanic. Who has the biggest penis?
The black one... he's 13!
Your mom is so fat Buzz Lightyear had to say "To infinity to beyond" to leave her house.
Your mom is so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
