Worst Jokes Ever
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes!
Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
My family is like a cactus; a bunch of pricks.
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
What's the difference between Hitler and a feminist?
At least Hitler actually did something.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.
When was the first Black Friday?
1619.
Bippity Boppity Bill Cosby!
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
An Irish-man walks out of a bar.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.