Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
The Twin Towers and genders have a lot in common. There used to be two, and now it's just a touchy subject.
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
Friend: Hey, wanna play hide and seek? Me: Sure, I've got a great spot! Me: *grabs knife and runs to my closet*
My dad just comes and goes.
"Yo mama's so fat, that I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing today!"
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.