Worst Jokes Ever
What does a pregnant teen and an aborted child have in common?
They both say, “My mom's gonna kill me!”
An old woman goes to the doctor complaining of extremely smelly gas.
"I don't understand it, Doc," she said, "I have this terrible, terrible gas." "Thankfully," she added, "they are at least silent when I fart."
Doctor hands her a bottle of pills, tells her take them all and then come back to see him.
The old woman returned a short time later extremely mad. "I took those pills like you said and not only is my gas smelly, but now when I fart they are obnoxiously loud!", she yelled.
The doctor said, "well, now that we've solved your hearing problem, let's see what we can do about that gas".
Q: If Adolf Hitler was a sea creature, which would he be?
A: Adlof-in.
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
My husband told me to make him a sandwich. I was looking online for some comebacks. Someone online said, "You better come back with a goddamn sandwich!"
The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
Me: Wanna play 9/11?
Friend: What's that?
Me: It's a game where I kick you in both legs and watch you fall.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
The boobs was funny tbh... But the last was rude.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?
It was blue 😔.
I've just started a new business making people breathe in large amounts of helium. They all speak very highly of it.
What’s pink, black and has 17 nipples?
A trash can behind the cancer ward.
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.
What do ghosts put on their bagels 🥯?
Scream cheese.
Why did the guy run because the girl ripped his penis off?
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
Why did the guy take a bath? Because he came, and it was too much of a mess.
I love ❤️ going to school 🏫.