What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
Worst Jokes Ever
How does Hellen Keller meet men?
She goes on blind dates.
What do KFC and a brothel have in common?
They’re both full of greasy chicks.
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
Why was Helen Keller slurring her fingers?
She was drunk.
What’s the most emo country in the world?
Qatar.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What do you call a stoned kid with Down syndrome?
A baked potato.
My friend: “Vaporeon is my favorite Pokémon.”
Me: “Hey, did you kno-“
I got kicked out of flight school, so I decided to learn from the experienced pilots (Isis).
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
Why do emos suck at playing tic-tac-toe on their wrists?
Because when they win, they lose.
What do an emo girl and a blind girl have in common?
Black is their favorite color.
What do you call two brunettes and a blonde in the NFL?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver!
Why do people in Alabama like peanut butter and jelly?
Because it's in bread.
Who would win in a fight, in a boxing ring? Mike Tyson or Helen Keller with a Tommy gun?
Mike Tyson. Helen Keller never heard the bell.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
You pull the pin and throw it back!
