Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?

Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.

Who am I rooting for during the Super Bowl? Easy. Taylor Swift.

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."

The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"

The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."

I would tell you a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.

How did the Emo ask the other Emo out?

"Wanna hang together?"

What’s the difference between the baby I just stabbed and Isaac Newton?

Isaac Newton died a virgin.

Why do people who get shot in the head always become therapists?

They are more open-minded.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Two priests are driving down a road when they are pulled over by the cops.

The cop shines a light in their faces and signals to the driver to roll down his window.

"We're searching for two child molesters," he says.

The driver leans over to the other priest, and they whisper between themselves.

Finally, he turns back to the policeman. "Ok. We'll do it."

Why are women like KFC?

After you've finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀

When can an elephant use an umbrella and not get wet?

When it's not raining.

When the teacher gives me an F on my exam,

but I have an AK-47 in my backpack.

*Is honestly the best policy.*

What do you call plane crash victims?

Down to earth people.

Yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it says, "To be continued."

What's the difference between a piranha and a teenage girl?

The piranha doesn't wear makeup.

A boy asks his father:

"What is politics?"

Father answers:

"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.

Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.

Our maid is the working class.

Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."

The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.

Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.

The next day his father asks him:

"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"

The boy says:

"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!

Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."