Worst Jokes Ever
What medicine do you take when your butt hurts?
Answer: Assprin.
When you realize you have depression, and depression realizes how stupid you were.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
A man gets kicked out of police camp after writing "Who's that Pokémon?" next to all of the chalk outlines.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?
What would you call a cover for your cock?
I like penguins.
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
China is a place. I once went to Buckingham Palace.
A hand of Pepsi murdered a Coca Cola. An innocent Sprite yelled, "Quick! Call Dr. Pepper!"
Eventually, a 7-Up called Dr. Pepper. The Coca Cola was fine.
The last thing I told my ex after we broke up was, "At least we're still cousins!" 😂
Random guy: "Go suck a D*ck!"
Me: Nah, I'd rather suck a 9mm.
Black people run fast.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
I'm not gay, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
Hold its nose.
Worst joke ever.