Worst Jokes Ever
I am a registered sex offender. I'm just playing, I'm not registered yet.
One day, a priest is walking down the street and sees a little girl with a box. "What's in the box?" the priest asks. "Christian kittens," the little girl answers.
Pleased, the priest smiles and continues on his way.
A week later, the same priest is walking down the street with a nun when he sees the little girl and the box again. "Ask her what she has in the box," he says, "It's the cutest thing!"
The nun walks up and asks the girl what she has in the box. "Atheist kittens," she says.
The priest rushes forward and says, "ATHEIST KITTENS!!! Last week you said they were 'Christian kittens!!!'"
"They were," she says. "Now their eyes are open."
If a white cop had a black dick, would he beat it to death?
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
My therapist told me to write angry letters to those that upset me and never send them.
He is really going to hate the letter he never gets.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
I'm so proud of my Grandpa. He killed Hitler himself.
What do you call an Asian who can't hear?
Wha U Sai
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
Your family tree looks like a circle 💀💀💀
9/11 victims are the best readers.
They went through hundreds of stories in a few seconds.
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
Michael Jackson was recently sighted at Target. Why? The sale was all boys' pants half off!
One day I was walking along the street and I found some caution tape... Just sitting there torn up... Beat up, and you could barely unravel it anymore because I would just burst into shreds... It kinda reminded me of what happened to my sister's killer... They still haven’t found him yet... I’m really good at hide and seek!
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.
What's the only part of a vegetable you cannot eat?
Wheelchair.
What's the difference between a knife and my life?
A knife has a point.
If you say to someone, "Have a nice day!" it will make them happy. If you say, "Enjoy the next 24 hours," they'll be terrified.
They found out that Michael Jackson was transgender, he went from he/him to hee-hee.
A little girl being Girl: "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."
Priest: "What did you do, child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, Father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes, Father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But, Father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"