Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."

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    • A robber held up a depressed kid at gun point.

    The depressed kid took the gun, and said, "I'll do it myself."

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    • Little Johnny got a train set for Christmas. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Alright, you motherfuckers get off here, and you motherfuckers get off here." His mom comes rushing in and says, "Little Johnny, we don’t use that kind of language, go to your room and think about what you did!"

    After a few hours, she lets him out of his room. He goes back to play with his train set. He takes it around the circle, parks it at the station, and says, "Okay, you guys get off here, and you guys get off here. And if you have any complaints about the two hour delay, take it up with the bitch in the kitchen."

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    • Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?

    Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.

    What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?

    Both of them are just full of shit.

    (Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!

    What's the benefit of taking a depressed kid to the store?

    Scan the wrist and you might get a discount.

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    • I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?

    Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.

    The emo kid tried to high five the tree.

    But the tree left him hanging.

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    • What do Miss Reeves and Michael Jackson have in common?

    They both have a touchy feeling for kids.

    Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

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