Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a priest in a room full of naked boys?

A colonoscopy.

"My dick fell off in the shower!" suddenly a bright flash of white lights. You see God smiling at you. "Joseph, where is your wiener, little one?" He says, chuckling lightly.

Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.

If her age is on the clock, she gets the cock.

What do you call a prostitute with a major in math?

The thot that counts.

What do Polish people in Poland use chop sticks for?

tweezers.

People are like sharks; only the great ones are white.

Dream tweeted, and I quote, "Babies kick pregnant women all the time, but I do it one time and I’m the one arrested."

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.

So sad when the emo kid tried to give a high five to a tree.

Too bad he left him hanging.

My mom said she will slam my head into my computer if I don't get off it. I'm not too worried though, I think she is just joking.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

I was stark nude. Hehe, I was. I truly and sincerely was.

The nurses giggled and said, "Joseph, why the hell is your wiener so loving?"

My penis purred and stroked their hands. I laughed and said, "I do not know."

What do you call a pig at the beach?

Bacon.

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"

I was watching my daughter play at the park. A woman came up to me and asked which one was mine. I said I was still choosing.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.