Worst Jokes Ever
What is red and goes 200 miles per hour?
A baby in a blender.
Who is M.J.'s cartoon character?
Muzan Kibutsuji
Hehe
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
Yo mama so fat, when she went sky diving everyone screamed "METEOR!!!"
How do you get a dishwasher to shovel snow? Give the bitch a shovel.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Hangman.
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
What do you call a simp, Adrian?
What do ants and Michael Jackson have in common? They go in kids' pants.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
How do you know when an orphan is lying?
When they say, "I swear on my mother's life."
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not, and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, "It’s too offensive" or something like that. Goddamn just take that shit somewhere else.
If a special ed kid is late to class, is it okay to call me a little tardy?
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never eat anything that is family size.
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in seconds.
I am crying tears of joy rn. I was wrongfully sentenced to death. They took me to prison to wait for my execution, but when I got there, they said that I was free. I asked them why and they told me that a man named Penaldo had taken my death penalty for me. Thank you, Penaldo!