Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so fat, that when I unfollowed her on Instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage.
You know if you go to Wal-Mart, and go to the milk section, you might just find your dads.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy."
What is the difference between Joe Biden and a knife?
A knife has a point.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
How tall does the grass grow in Germany?
Zis high!
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
Roses are red, Violets are twisted, You bend over, You're about to get fisted.
I have a girlfriend.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
Why does Saturn have a ring?
Because God liked it, so he put a ring on it.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
What did one nut say to the other? Ignore the guy in the middle. He's a d!ck.
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
What do you call the Christian version of Donald Trump? Holy shit!