Worst Jokes Ever
Lady: Will you fuck me?
Man: No, I don’t have a penis.
Lady pulls down man's pants and looks in them. "Yes, you do!" she says.
Man: Oh, I forgot it was there.
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.
Boy, your momma so ugly she’s denied from the homeless parties in the dumpster.
Quiet kid, your momma so funny she made a joke pop out her a*s.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
Richard: Mom, someone called me gay.
Richard's mom: Why didn't you slap him across his face?
Richard: No, I couldn't.
Richard's mom: Why?
Richard: Because he was cute.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.