Worst Jokes Ever

Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.

I hope I die peacefully in my sleep like my mother.

Not screaming like her passengers.

Your ma is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

I took my sister and cousin to a sleepover with lil Diddy, who my dad's friend has connections with.

I think the experience went fine, but they were traumatized. We got what we wanted.

I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably go up in flames.

I feel bad for all American Clash Royale players.

They always start with two towers downed.

Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!

Are you bisexual...

Or are you hellosexual?

When you got on an airplane, the flight attendant asked which hairline you were flying with.

Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.

Who is not hungry in Africa?

A dead person.

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏

Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

Yo mama so fat, she fell off the judgement room and broke the 7 layers of hell.

One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."

Edward Robinson + Grant Wisler = WHAT THE FU**?

What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?

Panera instead.

Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.

Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.

But you gotta eat it!

How does a rapper fix stuff?

With a RAP-AIR!