Worst Jokes Ever
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
What was Frankenstein's second job? -- He was a bodybuilder.
Where did Milky Way get its degree?
At the university.
What do vegetarian zombies eat?
Graaaaiins.
What did mama cow say to baby cow? -- "It's pasture bedtime."
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? -- Because they lactose.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory?
She was fed up with the hole business.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.
"It means 'happy'," replied the father.
"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"
"No, son, I have a wife."
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage. -- I lost my case.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Why did 10 die? -- He was in the middle of 9/11.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
What did the neutrino say to the planet?
"Just passing through."
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.
Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."