Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the spoon."
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
My friends.
A horse and a bear walk into a bar... Oh wait, can't tell that one!
What did the pot say to the kettle?
"To lick the s*** spoon."
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Eat my butt.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Them: "You're ugly."
Me: "No, as ugly as your extra chromosome."
Video game company names always make me make puns I didn't intend to.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.