Worst Jokes Ever
I had a conversation with a Möbius strip.
It was one-sided.
Why did the author go to the emergency room?
His editor told him he needed an appendix removed.
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts?
In the mooseum.
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
How can you tell if your wife is dead? -- The sex is the same, but the dishes start piling up.
I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. The odds were against me.
"How is your long distance relationship going?" -- "So far, so good."
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
How does a mathematician get tan?
sin/cos.
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
One time, a cow saved my life.
It was bovine intervention.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
Why did the math book go to the psychologist?
It had too many problems.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Why are theaters popular among cows?
They enjoy watching moovies.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles' elbow.