Worst Jokes Ever
Your mom laughs at your father, because he has an ugly wife.
Yo mama is so fat, when she sat on Black Temple, it became Sunken Temple.
Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.
Yo mama played the iceberg in Titanic.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to straighten her pubic hair and burned her balls.
Yo mama was really the reason why the Titanic sunk.
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean.
What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?
An octobrave.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the people who jumped out of the buildings during 9/11?
Their ankles.
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
All of these jokes are so dark, I'm surprised cops haven't shot them.
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?"
His mother replies, "The stork brings them."
Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
Chuck Norris was a kamikaze pilot. 12 times.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.