Worst Jokes Ever
Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
Why can't college students take exams at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs!
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
What did the fish say before he hit the wall? -- "Oh, dam."
What did Earth say to the other planets?
"You guys have no life!"
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
What do you call a bear with extreme mood swings? -- A bi-polar-bear.
What do you call shaving a crazy sheep? -- Shear madness.
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
Where do rabbits eat breakfast?
IHOP.
Where do cows go on holiday? -- Moo Zealand.
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.