Worst Jokes Ever
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
It didn't have the guts to do it.
What do you call a pool full of white people?
Kix.
So I was eating this girl out the other day, and I GOT AIDS. How does a 9-year-old give me AIDS? I guess my sister was hanging around the wrong crowd.
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
I used to have a fear of hurdles.
But I got over it.
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!
My jokes are cancer.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What do you call a Navajo with a lot of cash?
Johnny Cash.
Sayo-nara.